The Birthday Gift

Today is the 4th of July and I cannot help but contemplate my life a year ago. I love this holiday for several reasons. First, the celebration of our nation's independence, second I love red, white and blue and dressing the kids up all patriotic get me excited and proud to be an American, third my birthday. Which is actually the 5th so it always has felt like a pre-party and grand lead up to my special day.

This will be a difficult birthday, as a year ago I would have never imagined all that has taken place. I never thought my pregnant belly would be carrying a daughter and I never dreamed she would have the extra special magic chromosome. At this very moment of reflection it seems so bittersweet and even a little cruel. But I love her and as I am stretched and twisted in ways I never thought possible I know everything will be okay, I WILL be so much better for this. As much as I don't want to see it sometimes I see the small, microscopic changes in myself and all of these little changes will add up to a much better person in the end.

What gives me hope is my boys. They love Kate. I can't even do it justice, how they love her. I see it in their eyes, they way they look at her, care for her, the way they hold her, the way the talk about her ALL the time. They way they tell me their life is so much better because of Kate. My son Jack told me the best day in his life was when Kate was born. I just fell to pieces because as of now it was my worst. They are showing me and this will change there is going to be a day that I will cherish that day and all the good it has brought me. If the only reason God gave me Kate was to make my boys better men. I take it, every time. This life is not all about me and I hold onto the truth that in heaven, for all of eternity, Kate will be made perfect and whole. Life on earth is but a short timereally eternity is forever. Forever I will have the daughter I thought I was "cheated" out of having here on earth.

Okay okay, I already feel better.

We started off our holiday weekend with a trip to Eden Park where the boys rode & rode their scooters around the pond and took turns maneuvering our RC boat until the sun went down.







Then out of bed we jumped, scrambled to make it to a local parade. The boys enjoyed themselves, ate candy like nobody's business on their recently "cleaned" teeth.




Can you get the picture? This is typical. All of them want to hold Kate and she is constantly surrounded by her brothers. Oh how they lover her.....


I spy Owen, Cameron, Jack, Will and a snow cone float. The biggest hit of the parade. They pass out snow cones.


And our weekend is only half over, it's not even the 4th yet!


Stay tuned to find out my birthday gift!

Make Each Day A Masterpiece

The belated Father's Day post. We had a great day by all accounts. The lineup was breakfast at the inn, church followed by 9 holes of golf with our two oldest, shortly thereafter my parents and the three youngest joined us for a refreshing swim and some dinner. That day was a masterpiece and the artist my husband. Let me start off by saying he is a fabulous husband but an even better father, if that is possible. He is so hands-on and really wants to be with his children, he loves them like no other and one day, too soon, he will see what wonderful men he has created, nurtured & been blessed with. And Kate, well deep down, I catch glimpses of it brewing, this whole daddy-daughter thing. Right now it's my show, I am the baby lover and he is patiently waiting his turn but soon their relationship will burst up to the surface, just like it always does.






Happy Father's Day to my Dad, the best Dad ever! How Kate loves her Poppy, as you can see it's mutual.

The Funny Things They Do

What unusual little creatures our kiddos are. Owen has rekindled his desire to be any kind of superhero. This is his latest, which is a hybrid of Captain America, Batman and little hint of Power Ranger. This all reminds me I need to be any kind of supa-anything to get this house in order. I can't seem to make any headway. I make a little progress here and there and before I know it the here is already messed up shortly followed by the there.




These photos are what I walked in on last night as we were getting everyone put down for the night and there is just something so sweetly funny that I couldn't help but going to bed with a smile on my face.



As much as I want my house completely picked up and neat I know these days are fleeting. These random, dress-up, make forts with sheets days. So embrace them! There will be so much more time to have the house perfect with neatly placed accessories and beautiful plants appropriately dispersed throughout the house (plants that I will keep alive).

Who's Really Winning

My boys have been fascinated with their army men this summer. I am beginning to think the battle is not between my boys but with me. I find these little green and tan men everywhere! They are in my bed, on my nightstand, in the bathtub, steps, my car, the refrigerator......I could go on and on. I have to admit I love that they are enjoying the simple toys, with the electronics put down it is fun to watch their imaginations take hold.

And we have had more of this



Drippy ice cream treats & little tanned tattooed legs.

The end of the day usually leaves me feeling like this turtle raft looks, worn out from a full day. That is a good thing.

Do You See What I See

I often wonder how two people can see something, the same thing, yet view it completely differently. Some people may view my situation as tragic or sad while others will be inspired and even some grateful for their own blessings and sadly some who think we should have/could have prevented our situation.

I have finally landed on it doesn't matter what people think. I have one job and that is to love my kids, raise them up to be happy and healthy, confident, loving, accepting and compassionate.....The same goes for Kate.


John Wooden's father wrote down on paper and gave John these principles the day he graduated from the eighth grade and he carried it with him in his pocket.

* Be true to yourself.
* Make each day your masterpiece.
* Help others.
* Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible.
* Make friendship a fine art.
* Build a shelter against a rainy day.
* Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.

I can't think of any better advice. These are things I want to teach my children but first I must practice them myself. Because of Kate I will learn and apply these principles and become a better person whose life is so much richer because she is in it.

Tragic.....I think NOT



What I see is hope. A hope not for Kate (Kate is going to be just fine) but for me. Hope that life is not just going to pass me by as I rise and lay down with the sun but that my life will be a masterpiece. The beauty of it is I get to paint it, choose from the array of colors and the pattern of my firm strokes and soft brushes. A scene was set/chosen for me but I get complete it, turn it into a beautiful, full and amazing masterpiece for all to enjoy and view and take from it what they will.

What do you see?

RX: 600mg of the Northrop's

Just what the doctor ordered, a lazy afternoon with a great family. A dear friend and her darling boys. It was surprisingly relaxing watching a tangled mess of boys jump, splash, thrash, squirt and laugh their way around the pool. These Northrop boys are among the sweetest I know, awesome friends to my lovelies and officially Kate's 5th, 6th and 7th big brothers (with a special shout out to Sam). Their mother, Carrye has been a life line for me and for that I will be eternally grateful. These boys are simply a reflection of their fab parents.




Jackson, Max & Sam






For a few hours it felt like summer should, not worrying what to fix for dinner or the laundry spilling out of every laundry basket in the house. These free spirits soared and I smiled.


Later that evening it was a perfect evening to snap some photos and Kate obliged.







Owen finally got the jeep all to himself, finally not a passenger and wouldn't you know it, the darn thing ran out of battery.
I knew exactly how he felt, the let down, the break down and then we move on. Because of Kate we can move on.....

Because of Kate

I know, I know I changed the name of my blog. I knew I would from the beginning. It's like when you are naming your pet or for some even a child the name or nickname needs to fit, to be bona fide. The more I tried to think of a title the harder it became. Then the other night I was contemplating my life, which I do so much more now, the changes in our lives both good and uncomfortable where Because of Kate. Because Kate is in my life I will never be the same; I started this blog, I look at my boys differently now, I appreciate and value my friends so much more, realize what a great extended family we have, she has so much to teach us if we let her.

Here in the midwest our pools were christened this past weekend with little sun kissed cuties laughing, running and swimming about, showing us all how it's done, how to live and love life.


Owen is so brave this year. I can't believe how he has grown. I remember last year in the shallow end his little head tilted back so his chin would be above the water, standing on his tip toes and trying very hard not to bob even deeper. This year he doesn't even need me. He just says "watch mom".


Will after hours of all out swimming and splashing anything & everything the reward, something from the snack bar. One cow tail later and life is perfect.


Owen, this is soooooo Owen.


Kate, so completely chill.


After 4 boys I have been waiting to paint me some little toes.


This is who Kate resembles the most as a baby, Cameron. He loves her to the moon and back.


Look at my big girl, sitting up so nicely, that's my girl!

Because of Kate I am loving the first days of summer, not dreading them, soaking them in, every hour I have with my boys. Appreciating how they still want to be with me, they want my approval, they like all children just want to be loved, unconditionally. If they only know it was them who showed me how to love unconditionally, during the darkest season in my life, they were there so HAPPY & thankful for Kate.