I taught my oldest this before his first birthday and it was so cute and then I didn't with the next ones. With Kate I thought it might be fun to try so I showed her literally a couple of times. Then didn't think much of it and I was talking with someone about her turning one blah blah and wouldn't you know it she was holding her finger up and saying yeah baby I am about to be ONE! I about fell over. So now we are constantly saying "Kate how old are you?" and she obliges.
My dear sweet Kate. You are turning one on November 18th I really can't believe it. I so remember those first few dark days and all I could think about was how awful your first birthday would be and how can I celebrate the worst day of my life. I know, you weren't even two days old! The process is long and painful but I believe that is how I got to this point, the point of celebrating you and be thankful you are in our lives and dare I say happy and joyful. For SO many months I swore I would never feel joy again and never be truly happy again. The depths of that breath taking pain has allowed me to savor the joy and it feels like joy I have never felt before. Although I must say I still cry, I have moments that buckle my knees but it has nothing to do with you Kate, it's the diagnosis for somehow in my heart's mind they are separate, although I know there is not one without the other. You make me happy, the diagnosis can make me sad and I think that is how it will be for awhile. But Baby I have come such a long way! I know it can be a tag line but it is TRUE you are so much more alike your brothers than different. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, you are exceeding expectations and we will never stop pushing, I promise you we will never accept. All my love.....
