This will be a difficult birthday, as a year ago I would have never imagined all that has taken place. I never thought my pregnant belly would be carrying a daughter and I never dreamed she would have the extra special magic chromosome. At this very moment of reflection it seems so bittersweet and even a little cruel. But I love her and as I am stretched and twisted in ways I never thought possible I know everything will be okay, I WILL be so much better for this. As much as I don't want to see it sometimes I see the small, microscopic changes in myself and all of these little changes will add up to a much better person in the end.
What gives me hope is my boys. They love Kate. I can't even do it justice, how they love her. I see it in their eyes, they way they look at her, care for her, the way they hold her, the way the talk about her ALL the time. They way they tell me their life is so much better because of Kate. My son Jack told me the best day in his life was when Kate was born. I just fell to pieces because as of now it was my worst. They are showing me and this will change there is going to be a day that I will cherish that day and all the good it has brought me. If the only reason God gave me Kate was to make my boys better men. I take it, every time. This life is not all about me and I hold onto the truth that in heaven, for all of eternity, Kate will be made perfect and whole. Life on earth is but a short timereally eternity is forever. Forever I will have the daughter I thought I was "cheated" out of having here on earth.
Okay okay, I already feel better.
We started off our holiday weekend with a trip to Eden Park where the boys rode & rode their scooters around the pond and took turns maneuvering our RC boat until the sun went down.
Then out of bed we jumped, scrambled to make it to a local parade. The boys enjoyed themselves, ate candy like nobody's business on their recently "cleaned" teeth.
Can you get the picture? This is typical. All of them want to hold Kate and she is constantly surrounded by her brothers. Oh how they lover her.....
I spy Owen, Cameron, Jack, Will and a snow cone float. The biggest hit of the parade. They pass out snow cones.
And our weekend is only half over, it's not even the 4th yet!
Stay tuned to find out my birthday gift!
2 comments:
Callie - I have been reading your blog for a while now - and I think your family is beautiful. Having 3 boys of my own - I am a bit attracted to families that are full of boys. I also LOVE to hear of those "boy families" that finally get to add some true pink to their life. When I was pregnant this last time, my oldest son wanted a girl SO bad - he really had convinced me we were having one. Well, we did not get pink but we got a precious boy born with Down Syndrome. I, like you, did not know until that fateful day what Gad had intended for me and my family. I knew this was going to be my last one - the ole' husband only wanted 3 - and I was so sad that my last pregnancy did not turn out like I thought it was going to. I can only imagine your grief of finally getting some pink in your house and being thrown such a curveball. I love your honest words and I also know, in time, we will completely understand HIS full plan for our families. I think Kate is precious and is going to be such an inspiration to your 4 boys - they will have her well taken care of. I look forward to keeping up with your family on your blog. Oh and Happy Birthday!!
Thank you for your kind words. It is SO nice to know I/we are not alone.
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